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How to talk to partner about sex toys

by Passion Pulse Adult 02 May 2025 0 Comments
How to talk to partner about sex toys
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Discussing how to talk to partner about sex toys might initially feel a bit awkward, but it’s a wonderful opportunity to strengthen your connection. Many couples find that these conversations bring them closer and enhance their happiness. Research indicates that sharing your desires can reduce feelings of loneliness and make your intimate moments more fulfilling. So, why not explore this exciting idea together?

Key Takeaways

  • Think about your feelings and what you want first. Knowing this helps you talk clearly and confidently.

  • Pick a quiet and comfortable place to talk. A good time lets both of you share openly without stress.

  • Use kind words to show you're excited to try new things together. Talk about it as a way to make your bond stronger, not to solve issues.

Preparing for the Conversation

Preparing for the Conversation
Image Source: pexels

Think About Your Feelings and Wants

Before starting the talk, think about what you want and why. Knowing your feelings can make the chat easier and more meaningful. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to try sex toys?” or “How could this bring us closer?” Understanding yourself helps you speak clearly and with confidence.

Thinking about your emotions also helps you spot worries and talk better. For example, if you feel nervous, ask yourself why. Are you scared of being rejected or misunderstood? Knowing these feelings can help you handle them. It also makes you more understanding and kind during the talk.

Tip: Write down your ideas or practise what you’ll say. This can make you feel more ready when it’s time.

Pick the Right Time and Place

Choosing the right moment is very important. Find a time when you’re both calm and not busy with work, kids, or other things. A relaxed setting, like a walk or dinner, can make the talk feel easier.

Don’t bring it up during or just before intimacy. This might add pressure. Instead, choose a neutral time when you can both focus on the talk without rushing. A peaceful place helps you both feel open and honest.

Note: If you’re unsure when to start, wait for natural moments, like when talking about trying new things or improving your relationship.

Learn About Sex Toys and Their Benefits

Knowing more can help when talking about something new. Spend time learning about different sex toys and how they help. For example, some toys can increase excitement, comfort, and even stronger orgasms. This knowledge helps you explain they’re for shared fun, not replacements.

Good thoughts about sex toys often lead to better experiences. If you know the facts, you can answer your partner’s worries, like wrong ideas about their use. You’ll also feel more sure when suggesting things you both might like.

Fun Fact: Studies show couples who try sex toys together often feel closer and happier. Why not make learning about them a fun thing to do together?

How to Start the Discussion

Use Open and Positive Language

Talking about sex toys might feel scary at first. Using kind and clear words can help. Share your thoughts honestly. For example, say, “I’ve been thinking of ways to make our time together more fun. What do you think about trying something new?” This shows you’re excited and invites your partner to share their ideas.

Speaking openly helps you connect better. It lets your partner see your side and talk more deeply. Avoid saying anything negative or hurtful. Instead, make it about growing together and enjoying new things.

Tip: Ask questions like, “How do you feel about trying new things together?” This helps your partner share their feelings without pressure.

Share Your Excitement About Exploring Together

Show your excitement to make the talk less scary. Let them know it’s not about fixing problems but adding fun. You could say, “I read that couples who try new things feel closer. I think exploring sex toys could be a fun way to bond more.”

Be kind if your partner feels unsure. Say something like, “I get that this might feel strange at first. But I think it could be a fun way to grow closer and enjoy ourselves.” This shows you care about their feelings and are happy to go slow.

Fun Fact: Couples who try new things, like sex toys, often feel happier and closer in their relationship.

Frame It as a Way to Enhance Your Relationship

When talking about sex toys, explain it’s to make your bond stronger, not to change it. Talk about the good things, like feeling closer, better talks, and more fun together. You could say, “I think this could help us learn more about each other and make our special moments even better.”

Let your partner know it’s about enjoying together, not replacing anything. This can help ease their worries.

Note: If they’re unsure, suggest starting small. Look at options online or visit a shop together. This makes it feel like a team effort and exciting.

Addressing Concerns and Misconceptions

Listen to Your Partner Without Judging

When you mention sex toys, your partner might feel unsure. It’s important to listen carefully and not judge their feelings. Let them share their thoughts, even if they seem nervous. You could say, “What do you think about this idea? I’d like to know.” This shows you care about their opinion and want to understand them.

Some people worry that sex toys might change their relationship. They might feel scared about trying something new or think it could replace closeness. By listening calmly, you can find out their worries and talk about them together. Remember, this is a friendly chat, not an argument.

Tip: Don’t interrupt or ignore their feelings. Instead, nod or say, “I see what you mean,” to show you’re listening.

Clear Up Common Misunderstandings

Many people have wrong ideas about sex toys. Some think they’re only for one person or might replace a partner. Let your partner know this isn’t true. Explain that sex toys are for making your time together more fun, not replacing anything.

For example, you could say, “I read that couples using sex toys feel closer and happier. It’s not about replacing anything—it’s about adding something exciting to what we already enjoy.” Sharing facts can help ease their worries. Did you know 71.5% of women said vibrators didn’t cause problems? Many even felt healthier and more satisfied.

If your partner feels unsure, suggest starting small. Look at options together and pick something you both like. This way, it feels like a team decision, not just one person’s choice.

Note: Feeling nervous about new things is normal. Be patient and let them take their time.

Show That Toys Are for Shared Fun

Sex toys aren’t about replacing closeness—they’re for making it better. Explain that these tools can help you try new, fun things together. You might say, “This could be a great way for us to bond and learn more about each other.”

Studies show couples who try new things, like sex toys, often feel happier and closer. In fact, 50% of couples already use new items in their intimate lives. This shows many people are open to exploring together.

Focus on enjoying together. Let your partner know this is about both of you having fun and feeling closer. You could even make it exciting by shopping for toys together. This turns it into a fun activity instead of something stressful.

Fun Fact: Couples who try new things together often feel closer and happier. Why not give it a go?

Exploring Sex Toys Together

Begin with Simple Toys

When trying sex toys for the first time, start small. Pick something easy to use, like a small vibrator or massage tool. This makes it less scary and more comfortable. You can use the toy during foreplay to explore its effects together.

Go slowly and take your time. There’s no need to rush into advanced toys. Focus on how it feels and how it brings you closer. If something feels odd, talk about it kindly. The goal is to enjoy a shared experience that works for both of you.

Tip: Choose toys made for couples. These are designed to improve closeness and teamwork.

Shop and Learn Together

Shopping for sex toys as a couple can be fun and exciting. Look at online stores or visit a shop together to see what’s available. Talk about what interests you and what you’d like to try. Doing this together makes it feel less awkward and more enjoyable.

Learning together also helps you understand the benefits of different toys. For example:

  • Some toys can help you communicate better.

  • Others can make fantasies feel more real.

  • Many are made to increase pleasure and excitement.

By exploring as a team, you’ll find what suits both of you best.

Make It About Fun

Using sex toys should be about having fun and growing closer. Think of it as an adventure, not a chore. Laugh if something feels funny or unexpected. These moments can make the experience more enjoyable and bring you closer.

Sex toys can also add variety to your intimate life. They can create a romantic mood, give new feelings, or inspire playful ideas. By focusing on shared fun, you’ll make memories that strengthen your bond.

Fun Fact: Couples who try new things, like sex toys, often feel happier and more connected in their relationships.

Keeping Communication Open About Intimacy

Talk Often About Your Experiences

Regular chats can improve your relationship. Ask your partner how they feel about your intimate moments. A simple, “How do you feel about what we’ve tried?” can start honest talks.

These talks aren’t just for fixing problems. They’re a chance to enjoy what works and find new ideas. Open conversations show your partner their feelings matter. This builds trust and makes your bond stronger.

Tip: Make these talks a habit. Chat during coffee or quiet evenings to stay connected.

Make Talking About Preferences Normal

Talking about what you like shouldn’t feel strange. The more you talk, the easier it gets. Share your thoughts first and ask your partner to share theirs. You could say, “I’ve been thinking about what makes me feel close to you. What about you?”

Talking openly helps you both feel safe sharing your desires. It also stops confusion and creates a space for trying new things. You don’t need to agree on everything—just understand each other better.

Fun Fact: Couples who talk openly about preferences often feel happier and closer.

Celebrate Your Growth Together

Take time to enjoy how far you’ve come as a couple. Whether it’s trying new things or having open talks, these moments are worth celebrating. Show appreciation for the effort you’ve both made to grow closer.

Celebrations don’t need to be big. A toast or a kind note can mean a lot. These small acts strengthen your bond and remind you of the joy in your relationship.

Studies show celebrating milestones, even small ones, builds stronger emotional connections. Focusing on growth creates more happiness and closeness.

Note: Celebrate little wins, like talking about how to try sex toys or exploring something new together.

Talking about sex toys can feel easier than you think. You now know how to prepare, start talking, handle worries, explore together, and keep chatting openly.

Tip: Be curious and kind when discussing this topic. It’s not only about the toys—it’s about growing trust and closeness.

Speaking openly about intimacy can make your bond stronger. It can also add more happiness to your shared moments. Take a chance—you might find something exciting together!

FAQ

What if my partner feels uneasy talking about sex toys?

Feeling unsure at first is normal. Let them know it’s about having fun together and feeling closer. Be patient and talk openly without rushing.

Tip: Give them time and bring it up again when they’re ready.

How can we pick the best sex toy for us?

Begin with something simple made for couples. Look into options together and choose what interests you both. Exploring as a pair can be exciting and fun.

Fun Fact: Shopping for toys as a couple often brings people closer.

Are sex toys safe to use?

Yes, if used properly. Pick toys made from safe materials and follow the instructions. Clean them well after every use to keep them hygienic.

Note: Always read reviews and check safety labels before buying.

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